


Two Spouses Do a Marriage Make

by DilynAliceBlake



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Ed is bad at feelings, M/M, Marriage of Convenience
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23017825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilynAliceBlake/pseuds/DilynAliceBlake
Summary: Oswald and Edward are married on paper, for convenient reasons like avoiding testifying against each other and not trusting anyone else with their medical decisions.  Except now Oswald can't remember why he chose this annoying string bean of all people to put that much trust in.  And Ed?  Well, he's never NOT had Oswald in love with him before.  The change is jarring.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 7
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

"The thing you have to understand," he says, as soon as the papers are in order and Oswald has been discharged into this stranger's care, "Is that we aren't actually married."

"I saw the certificate. Why would I marry you if we weren't in love?"

"Legal reasons. Actually,  _ illegal _ reasons, as the case may be."

"Are you something like my second in command then?"

"Second- Oswald, I'm going to assume that what's left of the drugs are inhibiting your judgement. Me," the man snorts derisively, "Second in command."

"We must work directly together- there's no other conceivable reason for me to have agreed to this," Oswald argues. He may have lost his memories, but he hasn't forgotten who he is at his core. There's no way he would trust anyone who wasn't firmly under his thumb with his care in the event of an emergency.

"Actually, well, it's complicated-" Nygma hedges.

"Explain it," he snaps, "Now. And tell me where we're going."

He doesn't ask about the trustworthiness of the limo's driver. He'd bet his good leg that the partition that's up is soundproofed.

"We aren't a couple but you do- did, that is, have feelings for me."

Oswald eyes him appraisingly, then dismisses the notion.

"No. You're cute, but not that cute. I wouldn't have agreed to a move like this just to satisfy some unrequited pining."

"Not that-" he flusters, offended. "You literally said that you were agreeing not for the obvious benefits but because you'd bask in the knowledge that I would never be able to marry someone else were I to fall in love again!"

"Oh now that's just petty," Oswald derides, not terribly fussed that whatever his motives were he had clearly kept them secret.

"Yes, Oswald!" Edward Nygma exclaims with vehemence, "You're petty! It's your most defining characteristic!"

"I'd think that would be the limp," he disagrees with mirth and sass. Ed looks at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Do I not usually joke about that?" Oswald inquires, intrigued at what sort of person he must have displayed to others. "Don't tell me I was sensitive about it," he scoffs.

"No, you were…" he pauses to consider, "annoyed with it, mostly. You didn't like that it made you more human."

"Please. I'm  _ The Penguin _ . If anything it adds to my mystique."

Ed gives a sort of sly smirk that has Oswald admitting that maybe there is someone cute enough to fall for under all that pretentiousness.

"We'll see how you feel about it after the staircase," he says. Oswald loves a challenge.


	2. Chapter 2

"What is this? It's terrible," Oswald complains over breakfast the next morning. Ed apparently has a room for occasional use in the manor Oswald inherited from his father.

"It's french toast. You like french toast."

"Usually, yes, but this is not good. Why didn't you have the housemaid cook?"

Edward's face is twisting up in an interesting way, like he doesn't understand the data he's been given.

"You said you liked my substitutions," he says quietly, like something isn't adding up. A piece of his routine that doesn't fit like it used to.

"Clearly, I lied," Oswald declares, crass and careless.

"Why would you-" Ed starts, only to stop. "Your blood sugar," he says. "I changed it when we decided to keep an eye on your blood sugar. You told me it was just as good."

"Why would my blood sugar be your concern," he huffs with a roll of his eyes, "You're not actually my husband. I can't believe I would let you waste perfectly good ingredients and ruin breakfast just to play domestic like some sop. We'll go through a bakery on the way to the warehouse. Tell Anya-"

"Olga," Ed corrects automatically, feeling distant from his own body.

"Right, tell her she's in charge of breakfast from now on. No need for you to cook more of your health experiments on my account."

"Right. Yes of course." Ed agrees. Oswald goes to choose a cane while Ed stands to scrape their aborted breakfasts into the trash. It had taken fourteen different recipes before Oswald declared this attempt a success. Ed could make it with his eyes closed. He synthesized the powdered sugar alternative himself in his lab. Penguin had him over to make it once a week, because he insisted Olga couldn't get it exactly right.

Standing alone putting their now washed plates into the drying rack by the sink, Edward feels for the first time like this Penguin may be a stranger.


	3. Chapter 3

"That's stupid," Oswald says, shooting down another of Ed's suggested plans.

"You said that about the last one," Ed complains.

"No, I said the last one was tacky, because it was. I actually let you run around my city pulling this nonsense?"

"It's not nonsense, it's elegant!"

"Wow, love really must be blind," Penguin attributes, "Because seeing your heists and the outfits you go out in is enough to put anyone off."

Riddler slams down the box of blueprints onto the counter.

"I have had enough of you insulting me!" he hisses, outraged.

"It was more insulting my own alleged taste," Oswald dismisses. "I still haven't figured out why I married  _ you _ , of all people. Surely there was someone better suited in my organization. Not that being better  _ suited _ would be hard, with you in those green monstrosities all the time."

"If you're so sure, then someone else can show you the ropes!" Ed shouts on his way out, slamming the door definitively behind him.

He doesn't know why it bothers him so much. Sure, he's used to Oswald being a little more friendly, but the man's lost his memories. It shouldn't be surprising that he treats him like a stranger.

"He's treating you like he wouldn't date you," his counterpart interjects. "Like we're not good enough for him."

"I don't  _ want _ to date him," Ed growls, but still, he wonders.

Did he really get so used to having Penguin be in love with him that he can't cope now that he's not? Is he really that pathetic? So dependent on Oswald's affection?

He wants to say no, but the idea of no more weekly breakfasts at the manor and planning elaborate heists together twists his insides. Ed has always insisted that they're just friends, enemies turned co-conspirators, but it's true that Oswald treats none if his other associates with the same fond indulgence he does Ed.

Breakfast together whenever they can manage it. Ed sleeping at Oswald's more often than anywhere else- his own apartment little more than storage. Building entire criminal careers around each others' goals and preferences.

Is it possible that their marriage has been more than a sham? Husbands in behavior as well as name? Aside from not sleeping in the same bed- Which they do when one of them is having especially bad nightmares- Their behavior is undeniably spousal.

And now Oswald can't remember any of it enough to want it back.


End file.
